The approach to marriage was very flexible—something that alarmed the Roman Church very much, which is why they encouraged the Anglo-Norman Invasion in the late 12th century. Several forms of union were recognized as legitimate between a man and a woman.
There were three types of marriage based on property: whether the husband, or the wife, or both equally brought assets to the marriage. Wives could keep control of their property; it did not become their husband's property. A woman could also help to keep property in the family by marrying a cousin, a level of consanguinity that the Roman Church really didn't like to see.
Polygamy (but not polyandry) was also a legitimate form of marriage. The first/principal wife had some interesting advantage in a polygamous family: not only could she simply divorce the husband if she did not like his choice of an additional wife, but she had a three-day period on the arrival of a new wife when she was allowed to beat the new woman (so long as she did not leave a mark, of course!), and the new wife was allowed to scratch back and pull hair.
A man could also have concubines, whose status in the household was much lower than any wives—but it was still a legal status. Marriages in Brehon Law did not require church involvement (although no doubt when Richard de Clare married Diarmait's daughter Aoife he used a Roman ceremony, as in the illustration above, a detail of "The Marriage of Strongbow and Aoife" by Daniel Maclise, c.1854).
Women could even initiate divorce for several reasons:
- Husband too fat for sex.
- Husband hit her hard enough to leave a mark.
- Husband boasted about their sex life in public.
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